Tip for the day

Isn't it strange that evolution would give us a sense of humor? When you think about it, it's weird that we have a physiological response to absurdity. We laugh at nonsense. We like it. We think it's funny. Don't you think it odd that we appreciate absurdity? Why would we develop that way? How does that benefit us? I suppose if we couldn't laugh at things that don't make sense we couldn't react to a lot of life. I can't tell if that's funny or really scary. Calvin

Don’t struggle to change. Struggle strengthens what you are trying to change.
- Cheri Huber


A day without laughter is a day wasted.
- Charlie Chaplin


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Friday, June 29, 2012

IT ALL HURTS DRIVING PART TWO






RANT WARNING (I do this sometimes, usually when my feet hurt or I feel strongly about something.)
As long as I'm speaking of it, I will broach the subject of tailgaters. I really, honestly, truly hate tailgaters. I have have had several new cars hit by tailgating fools. It's some consolation that the tailgaters always get the ticket but my car never drives the same afterwards. They are always fearless (Fearless in the sense of stupid) young people that insist two feet from my car is far enough away. Many are malicious and think it's funny to jack with an old,fat, bald guy. If they continue tailgating they may go to prison. I hear getting rear ended happens a lot there. Nowadays if I'm in my truck and someone persists in tailgating me and will not pass me after I tap my breaks several times, I become annoyed. 
I have developed a defensive (or offensive if you will) strategy. I will down shift. For you people who have never driven a stick, that means shifting from fourth or fifth to second or first, depending on how fast your going and how fast you want to stop. It doesn't do your transmission a whole lot of good.  My truck can drop speeds of up to forty M.P.H. in about twenty yards without my break lights indicating I'm slowing down. Lets see one of these new toy cars that look like a space ship designed by Victoria's Secret do that! (Why in the world do cars wear bras? Are their headlights sagging?) They are in a situation where they can't stop fast enough. 

The tailgater's choices are (A.) Hit my huge all metal, vintage bumper I had welded on, total their car and get a ticket or (B.) drive off the road, perhaps total their car and get a ticket. If they manage to avoid both A. and B. they pass me at the speed of fear, and get away with just the cost of having their seats cleaned. 
The cost of the bumper? Sixty bucks. The look on their ashen faces? Priceless. They sort of look like Rodney Dangerfield. I get the added benefit of learning some new words as they go by. (Some things I don't understand. Anybody know why a someone on a gas pole would wear a duck shoe?)  
If there are girls in the car they will be beating on the driver. Most girls have acquired brain cells by that age. Boy's brain cells are stuck in lust induced brain freeze and won't become active again until they are thirty five...maybe. 
If I'm in my wife's car my alternate strategy is to go ten miles an hour till they go away. It's not nearly as satisfying
 More on driving next week.
Grins.

 I Just Saved A Bunch Of Money

4 comments:

  1. I love your way of thinking... LOL. Great post.

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  2. Love it! I have no problem locking up the brakes! Have a tow bar fitted at back, and most times there is serious damage to the tailgaters pissy little "City Car", and not a scratch on mine. Wonder if I could weld a piece of rail to the back end..mmmmm...
    Salagatle!

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    Replies
    1. Mine is just wide enough to piss off the squeezing door dingers in the parking lot too.

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