Tip for the day

Isn't it strange that evolution would give us a sense of humor? When you think about it, it's weird that we have a physiological response to absurdity. We laugh at nonsense. We like it. We think it's funny. Don't you think it odd that we appreciate absurdity? Why would we develop that way? How does that benefit us? I suppose if we couldn't laugh at things that don't make sense we couldn't react to a lot of life. I can't tell if that's funny or really scary. Calvin

Don’t struggle to change. Struggle strengthens what you are trying to change.
- Cheri Huber

A day without laughter is a day wasted.
- Charlie Chaplin

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Thursday, May 10, 2012


Lately I am pretty much immobilized with knee surgery and as such I have been watching some TV. At my age I don't have many brain cells to spare and don't need to lose more so usually I stay away from it. I have flipped to some reality shows and been aghast at the grammar. 
These people sound stupid and proud of it.
 There are inflections and regional dialects I have difficulty understanding. That's OK, They are not affected. They have been around for more than a hundred or more years. I don't speak Cajun, New England, northern border and Canadian, or Hispanic, I speak central Midwestern, southern ( I am a Texas escapee and my progenitors are from Richmond since the 1700's.) To some extent these dialects are disappearing with the ease of moving from place to place, and I am sad about that. Some slang and colloquialisms are acceptable and can add spice to the language, but there is a pervasive new one emerging. I'll call it trailer trash gangsta for lack of something better. I am not making any value judgments here but their music sounds like livestock with gastric disorders expressed profanely but I've previously addressed that. 
As a young democrat, if not a socialist hippy, in the 60's and 70's, I used some strange words and yes, drugs. But I never purposefully tried to sound like I had asphalt level intelligence just to be different. I'm obviously not an English buff (if you ever read my things you would know) and am not the one to talk but these people are ridiculous even to me. I don't believe it's something they will ever grow out of. Are we regressing as a nation, or am I just an old person down on younger generations?

I know these people attended at least seventh grade and some are college grads. I know they can speak semi-proper English.
  I be suprisedly exprised at how stupiditized some people be rappin.
What happened to the possessive "s?"
"My baby daddy.", "I be going to my mom house.", "if they not careful, I gone to kick they ass!"
"Do It Matter? Yes it do!" He be doing that sh...  alla time." "I had went to he house."  "I be go over later." "He being coming over soon."
Do tenses matter? Do singular or plural matter? In Spanish and Gaelic there are no plurals for you. Hence Y'all and Youse. I get those, But can Y'all say Y'all enough?
"Y'all better not be late or Y'all going to be sorry, Y'all."
And shouldn't y'all represent more than one?
"Y'all is late!" All y'all is the plural.
I say y'all a lot but I guess some people can't get over how southern they are.
Am, is, be, are; if you are going to use them, why not use them wrong?
I is; he am; you be; they is; he are...
Contractions? Hey, anything goes:
Am not = amen't; go on=g'wan; have not= h'aint. Ain't works for just about anything: he ain't, we ain't, they ain't, you ain't, Y'all ain't. (Oops, I use ain't frequently even though they though they tried to beat it out of me in grammar school. Like I said I'm not Mr. Grammar person)
Some words do not need to be spoken with all their (they) letters and some words can just be left out. "It cos fity cen" or "It coses fity cen." "my boyfren" "If I fine you you be lyin I gone go crazy on yo ass."
"Whey you at?"
Why say you had something when you can say "I did had?" "I did had me a drink."
By all means make sure to give everything the colorful and descriptive adjective "mother f...." Why threaten to kick someone's ass when you can kick: "they mutha f...ing ass?"
When someone is wrong, they be: "Mutha f...ing wrong." If you are really tired you are: "Mutha f... tired."
I listened to some some of these people while I was sitting at the Mall one day. I clocked them at sixteen F's per minute. I made little tick marks on a sticky note for five minutes and got an average per person. I am not making this up. I got a "Watchu lookin' at Mutha f...er. (They say f...ah) for my efforts. They're potty mouths without a decent curse repertoire. Now my dad could cuss creatively. He could cuss for forty five minutes without repeating anything or saying f... and he could do it in three languages.

And these people did not just do something, they actually did it. "I'm actually wear a blue dress." "I actually waked up at nine o'clock."
These people talk this way on purpose. It's as if they are ashamed for others to think they have any education at all. My son does not pop gum or speak like this, partly because he enjoys being with the living (at least on the computer) and partly because he does not like looking ignorant. I am not sure if there is a correlation but even though we are of very modest means, he did not go to public school. I have never heard one of his classmates speak like this. 

Well, yo. My processor be actually has a blink or sump'n fom writin' like dis. I is actually be getting a headache. We bofe be needin' naps yo.
Curmudgeon out.


  1. Skip actually sendin' me here, yo. I be glad he motherf..ing done did it. Y'all is a crazyass motherf..er.